Joanne Goldbaum's story in "Living and Loving Life after Addiction" is a powerful reminder that no matter how far we’ve fallen, there is always a way back to love, self-worth, and healing. Her journey from the depths of alcohol dependence and emotional pain to a life full of joy and connection shows us that when we seek help, embrace support, and choose self-love, everything can change.
Joanne’s life experiences, her journey through overcoming addiction, and letting go of past beliefs have taken her to live an authentic heartfelt life, that she could have only dreamt of growing up. For over 12 years Joanne has been studying and implementing transformational success principles. As a speaker, trainer, and certified coach, Joanne’s workshops and coaching programs help people break through limitations and achieve greater results than they have ever known possible.
Joanne specializes in helping Women reignite their passion inside of them, rediscover their dreams, accelerate their results, and create richer, more fulfilling lives. If you are looking to gain clarity, confidence, and achieve your next level of success, while enjoying the highest levels of fulfillment in life Joanne’s coaching programs can help you get there.
Email: DA@joannegoldbaum.com
Website: Joannegoldbaum.com
***This story is proudly sponsored by Joanie Elizabeth, a licensed mental health counselor, mental performance coach, author, and speaker. Joanie is passionate about empowering individuals to align with their true desires and embrace fulfilling lives. Her support of this story reflects her unwavering commitment to helping others uncover their inner brilliance and courage. Thank you, Joanie, for championing this brave story.
Wellness With Joanie
Describe the circumstances when you knew you had to tap into your inner courage and make changes in your life.
I was so miserable in my life I didn’t want to live anymore. I was going to a job I despised and coming home to a cold and unloving home. I felt like I was living on repeat, with nothing to look forward to. It got to the point where I was drinking every night to numb the pain, and I didn’t see any way out.
Walk us through the pivotal moment when you decided to act courageously. What was going through your mind? How did you feel at that moment?
I was becoming physically ill. I was emotionally and spiritually dead inside and just sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. My children were constantly in their rooms; they did not want to be around me or my husband any more than they absolutely had to. Looking into my children’s eyes, I could see they were unhappy and hurting too. My marriage was in shambles; we avoided each other as much as possible, and when we were together, all we did was fight. I could see what this was doing to my kids, and I just didn’t want to hurt them anymore.
What inspired or motivated you to take the courageous step you did? What were a few of the first steps you took? What major actions did you have to take?
I tried several times to stop drinking and finally came to the realization I couldn’t do it on my own. It wasn’t until my daughter initiated a little intervention that I realized I was not just hurting myself. My family each read a letter that they had written to me. When my daughter read her letter, tears were in her eyes, and I felt the hurt and concern in every word she spoke. This tore my heart open to the core, and that is when I knew things had to change. I knew I was the only one who could change, and I wanted happiness back in my home. I investigated options for treatment centers and found a wonderful place in Kirkland just for women. I went to an orientation there, and a short time after that, I started their extensive outpatient treatment program.
Paint a picture of what your life was like before you encountered the challenge that called for you to summon your courage.
I started drinking at an early age. My childhood was not a happy one, and the moment I discovered alcohol, it became my solution for everything. It made me feel comfortable in my own skin, which I never did growing up. I always felt like an outsider, like I was different, I was invisible, and I didn’t fit in anywhere. Alcohol gave me the courage to fit in, be confident, and belong — or so I thought.
Life was good, and partying was normal. This went on for years, and my alcohol use became increasingly worse. I went through two marriages; my first one was a very physically and mentally abusive one, and I was lucky to escape with my life. My second husband, who I thought was my soul mate, but became addicted to cocaine.
I became pregnant with my beautiful daughter and believed this would change everything, and we would live happily ever after. Of course, it didn’t work out that way; it ended with me kicking him out because I gave him the ultimatum of his drugs or his family, and he could not have both. Unfortunately, the drug addiction was too strong, and it won.
When my daughter was three years old, I met my current husband in a bar. We had a great time together, and I thought I finally met a good man. We were great for the first six years or so, but our alcohol consumption became increasingly worse, and we started fighting. I got pregnant with my son, and once again, I thought this would change everything, and we would go back to being happy again.
Things were pretty good for about four more years until our alcohol consumption grew to the point of being uncontrollable, and we were fighting all the time. One night, things escalated; the police were called and off went my husband to jail. This ended his drinking career, but he was angry and resentful because he had to quit drinking and took it out on the whole family.
I, on the other hand, continued to drink because I felt it was his problem, not mine. Things just went from bad to worse in our house. It got to the point where I would go to work, stop at the liquor store on the way home, get a pint, and just check out until I had to do it again the next day. My kids confined themselves to their rooms unless it was dinner time, and when my husband was home, we either didn’t talk or we fought.
Were there any doubts or fears you had to overcome before taking action? How did you manage them?
I was full of fear! At first, I honestly didn’t think I could stop drinking. I was very sick and thought I would end up killing myself with alcohol. My marriage was so bad I believed it would be the end of it. I was convinced my husband would use me to seek help to take everything from me, including my kids.
Although I still had a good-paying job, I was unsure how I would support myself and the kids on my salary alone. I was also worried about people at work finding out and me possibly losing my job. I couldn’t go on this way because I was killing myself, and then where would my kids be? Living in this environment was torture for them, and it had to change.
What were some of the challenges or obstacles you faced during your journey to overcome this particular challenge?
I had to admit I was powerless over alcohol and my life. Becoming humble and admitting I needed help because I could not do it alone was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I did not understand alcoholism as a disease, and I was overcome with guilt and shame. Going to extensive outpatient treatment took a lot of courage, time, and commitment. After work, I was either going to the treatment center for classes or AA meetings every night. This left very little time for my family, and even though we had not spoken much before, I missed the little time we had together, even if it was just dinner, because that was one thing we still had. I always made sure there was dinner on the table, and we had that time together.
- Tell us about a memorable anecdote or turning point in your courageous journey.
The biggest turning point for me was when I started working with a sponsor and was through my treatment program. I felt grateful for being alive for the first time in a long time. Everything started turning around. My kids were glad to see me walk through the door after work. We had some deep, meaningful conversations, and my daughter expressed how proud she was of me!
This was just the beginning of my personal development; my husband and I started marriage counseling, and we both went through some intense personal development programs. I went back to school to obtain my bachelor’s degree and was able to get better jobs within the company that I was more suited for.
It has been over twelve years, and my life just keeps getting better. My husband and I are happier than we have ever been. My relationship with my children is amazing today. We enjoy each other’s company, go on trips together, and just love spending time together. I was able to position myself to retire early so I could pursue a coaching business helping other women, and this is my true calling in life.
What role models or sources of support helped you stay strong and resilient?
First, the support came from my counselor and a few other women in the women’s treatment center. Then it was women I connected with in AA meetings and my AA sponsor. This was the beginning of me building a network of supportive women around me, and I could not imagine my life without them today!
Don’t allow past beliefs from childhood control you as an adult.
Everyone is worthy of love and acceptance.
How did this experience impact your life and your perception of courage?
I did not know what courage was before going through this experience. I was taught at an early age that courage and strength are what it takes to do what was expected of you. Don’t show your emotions, and just push to be perfect or better than anyone else, and you will do fine.
What lessons or wisdom have you gained from this experience that you’d like to share with others?
Don’t allow past beliefs from childhood to control you as an adult. We all have past beliefs about ourselves from childhood that we have adopted as truth, and most of them simply are not true! We form these beliefs, and they come into our subconscious from early on. They can come from parents, teachers, peers, other family members, or just experiences that we have had. Things like… I am not smart enough, I am not good enough, I am not worthy of love, on and on! These past beliefs about ourselves create fears that hold us back and keep us from living life to the fullest. So, push through these fears and subconscious lies to live the life you love and were truly meant to live.
- Everyone is worthy of love and acceptance.
- Addiction is a disease, and you don’t have to continue living in shame and guilt trying to control something that is out of your control.
- It is not a weakness if you ask for help or seek support when you need it.
- What you perceive about yourself will become your reality: If you believe you are not worthy of something, you will stay stuck; if you believe you are worthy, you will succeed. Your higher power does not want you to play small in this life, so go for those dreams and make them a reality.
What unexpected or positive outcomes emerged from your courageous actions?
I truly love myself, my marriage is stronger than ever, and my whole family believes in self-improvement and strives to be better every day. I realized all the things I was led to believe as a child were not true. I don’t have to settle for what I think I deserve or live in fear because I don’t think I am good enough. I have the privilege of helping other women today reignite the passions inside of them to live a life they absolutely love.
How do you define courage, and how has your definition evolved through your own experiences?
I was raised to push emotions down and do whatever it took to survive and that is what I believed courage was. This experience taught me real courage is owning your feelings, loving yourself, stepping into your truth, setting healthy boundaries, owning your strengths and weaknesses, and knowing when to ask for help.
Is there a particular message or advice you’d like to convey to other women who may be facing similar challenges?
You are beautiful just the way you are. Don’t let past beliefs or anyone else’s opinion determine how you feel about yourself, your abilities, or your self-worth in any way. We are all children of God, and he does not want us to settle or be unhappy. We are all deserving of anything we desire, and we can make it happen. We just have to believe and have faith in ourselves and the Universe.
In retrospect, do you have any regrets or things you would have done differently?
I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I didn’t go through everything I went through in life. It would have been nice to learn some of these things a little earlier, but I am grateful and blessed to have become the person I am today because of it.
How has this experience shaped your identity or sense of self?
I went from not believing in myself and believing I was not good enough. I pushed down any feelings I had because I didn’t know how to process them. Now I believe in myself, know I am a great person, embrace my feelings and emotions to be the best version of myself, and focus on bringing love and light to everyone around me.
What would you say to someone who is hesitant or afraid to take a courageous step in their life?
You can have fear but don’t let fear have you. Every time you have the courage to move through the fear you come out on the other side of it a better person. You become stronger and more confident to do more, have more, and be more. Fear is good because it is a signal that things are changing, so embrace fear and go for it! You deserve everything you can imagine and more!!
You are beautiful just the way you are, and don’t let past beliefs or
anyone else’s opinion determine how you feel about yourself,
your abilities or determine your self-worth in any way.