We are thrilled to share the inspiring story of Donita Bath Wheeler, a true embodiment of resilience and courage. Donita has faced and conquered immense challenges, including battling multiple cancers and navigating the heart-wrenching struggles of a failing marriage. Her story is a testament to the power of inner strength and determination.
Join us as Donita walks us through the pivotal moments that defined her courage, the emotional and physical battles she fought, and the transformative journey that led her to reclaim her life and love. Let her story remind you that no matter how dark the times, there is always hope and a way forward. Donita's journey is a beacon of inspiration for us all!
Donita Mamabear LLC, founded by the visionary Donita Wheeler, offers transformative energetic therapy and guidance inspired by her extraordinary journey of overcoming cancer five times. Through Donita's profound expertise and best-selling works, individuals break free from restrictive energetic patterns and embark on transformative journeys toward profound healing and enduring fulfillment.
Donita Wheeler, the visionary founder of Donita Mamabear LLC, is a beacon of hope and inspiration. She triumphed over cancer not once, but five times, a testament to her unwavering resilience. Donita is not just a survivor; she's a best-selling author renowned for works like "BareMyself," "The Lemonade Stand," and "A-Z Spirituality." As an esteemed energetic therapist, she empowers clients by helping them break free from restrictive energetic patterns, drawing from her personal experiences and profound expertise. Under her insightful guidance, individuals embark on transformative journeys marked by profound healing and enduring fulfillment.
Donita's exceptional narrative and her role through Donita Mamabear LLC highlight the boundless potential of the human spirit. Her work exemplifies the transformative power of dedicated guidance in facilitating personal growth and healing. Donita is resolutely committed to helping others unlock their potential, leading them to lives enriched by vitality, purpose, and profound well-being.
www.donitamamabear.com
***This story is proudly sponsored by Joanie Elizabeth, a licensed mental health counselor, mental performance coach, author, and speaker. Joanie is passionate about empowering individuals to align with their true desires and embrace fulfilling lives. Her support of this story reflects her unwavering commitment to helping others uncover their inner brilliance and courage. Thank you, Joanie, for championing this brave story.
Wellness With Joanie
Describe the moment when you knew you had to tap into your inner courage and make changes in your life.
I have had to tap into my inner courage a few times! I tapped in when I was diagnosed with my first triple negative breast cancer, then again with my ovarian cancers (cancer #2 and #3), then with skin cancer, and the fifth and final time, melanoma.
I tapped into it again when we began to take care of my terminally ill mother-in-law and again when my dura broke. The dura are layers of connective tissue that create the meninges of the brain.
I tapped into it when I moved twenty-four times, but probably the most I’ve ever had to tap into my courage was when my marriage was failing.
Walk us through the pivotal moment when you decided to act courageously. What was going through your mind? How did you feel at that moment?
My husband had been let go from his job, and we had the opportunity to stay and take care of my mother-in-law; she was terminal. This required moving to a new state and being locked down, before lockdowns were a thing.
With all the recent changes, the one that was killing me the most was the thought of losing my marriage. I could not believe that I didn’t lose to cancer but the man I loved more than anything in the world, I was going to lose. I remember feeling like I wished cancer had taken me. I didn’t know how I would live my life by myself.
What inspired or motivated you to take the courageous step you did? What were a few of the first steps you took? What major actions did you have to take?
I was angry, sad, and felt betrayed. My ego was in full swing, and I was incredibly frustrated. It was as if all the things I did to keep my marriage were the very things that were being thrown back up into my face as faults.
One day, after sitting on the floor for about thirty minutes bawling (this had become a daily ritual), I stood up and said, “Enough.”
Grabbing my notebook, I began dividing up our assets. I tried to picture what my life would look like, and I just could not get a picture. I really tried and absolutely not one vision came to me. I was also beginning to start my energy business back up, which I had put on hold for the caregiving.
I began pulling back, stopping trying to be everything I thought my husband wanted from me, and beginning to be myself. I realized that I had completely stopped being myself. It wasn’t sudden; it was a thirty-year journey. I wanted to get back to me, and since my life was going to dramatically change anyway, I thought I would kill two birds with one stone.
Paint a picture of what your life was like before you encountered the challenge that called for you to summon your courage.
I was married at twenty-two and had a fairy tale life — until I didn’t. For real, I got to stay at home with my kids in a beautiful house and had quite a wonderful life. I am hard-working; I always give my family every bit of me. When the kids left the house, I found myself a bit bored. I decided to open a cancer support company and make new friends, publish books, have a popular podcast, and fill my cup.
Unfortunately, I was draining the marital cup. I was spending tons of money on my business and not making a penny. I was “doing all the things,” and my ego was in full swing. I was so busy being me that I didn’t realize I was severely neglecting my marriage.
Were there any doubts or fears you had to overcome before taking action? How did you manage them?
I was so terrified of being alone. I had to take some steps toward a divorce. I did a little bit each day. I started the day with some positive intentions, some meditations, some separation of personal items, and then cried a lot. I didn’t do a great job of managing anything. I had the intention to make progress every day toward a separation, I had the intention of starting over, and I had intentions of being strong. There were attempts, but never was I able to manage moving forward with a divorce.
What were some of the challenges or obstacles you faced during your journey to overcome this particular challenge?
I just didn’t want to live alone. I loved my husband and was extremely hurt. I felt side-blinded, unappreciated, and had lots of terrible feelings. I went into a deep depression and avoided everyone and everything. It was a little tricky since we were in COVID lockdown, and my entire family had moved back in together in a new state — all of us.
Tell us about a memorable anecdote or turning point in your courageous journey.
We had decided to divorce but decided to give it one last hurrah and go to Vegas to see the B-52s for my husband’s birthday. I also thought about renewing our vows. It was my last Hail Mary for us. He went along with it. We did it and were both really surprised at how emotional we were during the ceremony.
Leaving there, we had renewed hope. That was a little over a year ago, and we are going strong. We have had some more family challenges but this time we are working through them as a unit, as a couple, and are building our trust and relationship. We no longer talk about divorce and are even finding joy in being together again.
What role models or sources of support helped you stay strong and resilient?
I have some really good friends. They listened to me and listened to me and listened to me. They were so gentle and kind to me. This rock bottom ignited my energy work again. I had lost sight of how important energy work is and how important being balanced, grounded, and protected is for your soul and earth’s life’s ease.
How did this experience impact your life and your perception of courage?
I really thought I had been through it all. I had cancer five times with eleven surgeries. I watched my mother-in-law die in my husband’s arms, my dad passed suddenly when I was thirty-eight, my dura exploded, we became empty nesters, I attempted suicide, my husband was laid off, and I had a hugely unsuccessful business. Now, that was rock bottom. Someone recently asked, “How are you alive?” and I giggled because it was then that I realized rock bottom really did have a basement, and that basement was my marriage. You can’t kill me, but losing my marriage would have been the nail in my coffin.
What lessons or wisdom have you gained from this experience that you’d like to share with others?
Live in the Now! Forgive, forget, move on, and use your energy in the way it’s intended. Focus on you first, align your energy, attract your manifestations, and know that a higher power always has your back. And never give up; the tide always changes.
What unexpected or positive outcomes emerged from your courageous actions?
I love my husband in a more deep and positive way. Our conversations are meaningful, and we have taken the time to eliminate the past and start fresh. I discovered that my husband is really funny. I’ve learned to slow down and listen.
How do you define courage, and how has your definition evolved through your own experiences?
I didn’t realize I was being courageous. I wanted to live each time I received the daunting cancer diagnosis and body-changing surgeries. I did what I needed to do to be courageous. It was actions, not thoughts, for me. The one and only thing that I completely ignored and hoped would work out was my marriage.
Is there a particular message or advice you’d like to convey to other women who may be facing similar challenges?
Find out who you are first because you aren’t the same person who got married so many years ago or even a year ago. Remember to be flexible with your partner, too; they aren’t the same person either. I had to do some deep, deep shadow work to come back into the marriage with a new attitude and with forgiveness. You have to be willing to do the work and not play the blame game because you can only control yourself (and even that has its challenges). I took the time to work on me, balancing the marital needs as well as working on my own. I was able to work through me (it took five years) and fall in love again. The again part is the best. Our love is on a different level now than it was, and we are celebrating our thirty-fourth wedding anniversary soon.
In retrospect, do you have any regrets or things you would have done differently?
I would do my shadow work much sooner and leave my ego at the door. Stop being such a victim and recognize that I and the other participants in my relationships have areas of growth.
How has this experience shaped your identity or sense of self?
It has shown me that I am flexible. I also discovered that I don’t have to take a “time out” to grow. We can simultaneously grow and develop our sense of “you.” We can do life and grow at the same time and there is no perfect “time” to start.
What would you say to someone who is hesitant or afraid to take a courageous step in their life?
It’s darkest before dawn, and what a blessing you are on this earth experiencing life. Draw on joy and love to lead the way. You always have your love and light in your corner; you don’t need anything or anyone else.