🌟 Meet another brave author from our upcoming book Being Brave, launching in December 2024! In her powerful story, I Chose Me, she opens up about the transformative moment she decided to prioritize herself and her well-being.
✨ Her journey reminds us that choosing ourselves, even when fear is present, is the ultimate act of courage. Stay tuned for more inspiring stories of resilience and growth!
Remalynn Muñoz, Accountability Support Coach. As a first-generation Filipino-American, she navigated between two cultures: one that her parents knew and one that she grew up with. Blending the two had its benefits and challenges.
Remalynn is a mother of two adult children, most of their lives as a single mom. She is a grandmother of two handsome boys who call her "Ina". She loves dancing—it's hard to get her off the dance floor. The sound of the ocean brings her peace and being in the it grounds her.
***This story is proudly sponsored by Joanie Elizabeth, a licensed mental health counselor, mental performance coach, author, and speaker. Joanie is passionate about empowering individuals to align with their true desires and embrace fulfilling lives. Her support of this story reflects her unwavering commitment to helping others uncover their inner brilliance and courage. Thank you, Joanie, for championing this brave story.
Wellness With Joanie
Describe the moment when you knew you had to tap into your inner courage and make changes in your life.
The moment I knew I needed to tap into my inner courage and make changes in my life was when I had to make the toughest decision I have ever had to make. Choose others or myself. I chose me.
In the darkness of the night, I decided to walk away from my home and everything I had worked hard for. But the hardest thing I did was walk away from the ones I loved, not knowing when or if I would see them next. With that decision, I was heartbroken and depressed. I felt more lost than I had in my life. I knew, though, that if I stayed there and the people (including myself) did not change I would be slowly turning what internal light I had left into an internal darkness.
Walk us through the pivotal moment when you decided to act courageously. What was going through your mind? How did you feel at that moment?
This part of my life was very tumultuous. It seemed like no matter how hard I tried to change to please my family it just didn’t work. The arguments became more frequent and more intense.
What inspired or motivated you to take the courageous step you did? What were a few of the first steps you took? What major actions did you have to take?
I don’t know if it would be called inspiration or motivation, but something deep within me felt caged in. It was my genuine self-wanting to be seen and heard. She wanted out. At first, she came out with a roar. She lay dormant for too long and didn’t know how to express herself.
The first few steps were for me to accept that being scared was okay. The healing process required me to be vulnerable. It was one of the most uncomfortable feelings I have ever felt. I thought I knew what being vulnerable was all about, but what I knew was just the surface. I was at the start of the journey of going deeper into the darkness that I stored away, thinking it would never surface.
I needed to walk toward self-acknowledgement, self-permission, and self-validation to give myself the love and confidence to say, “I am okay. Things will be okay.”
The major action I had to take was seeking help. The first mindset shift I needed to understand was that seeking help, whether it was a therapist, a life coach, or both at the same time, and doing the work did not mean I was broken. It simply meant I was getting the support to be able to go through this journey.
Paint a picture of what your life was like before you encountered the challenge that called for you to summon your courage.
I lived life for others. I molded myself to be accepted but never felt fulfilled. I was a single mom on a mission to show that I could handle things on my own. I built a thick wall around my heart. I vowed I was never going to get hurt again. I blamed myself for so many things that happened to my kids and me. My hurt and sadness were projected in control and anger. I couldn’t let anyone know just how much I hurt. I felt like I wasn’t enough to love. I punished myself every day for not being good enough to provide for my kids. I wanted to protect my kids. I felt so guilty when I couldn’t. Everything that went wrong, I internally punished myself for not knowing better or doing better. I was living life on cruise control.
Were there any doubts or fears you had to overcome before taking action? How did you manage them?
The biggest doubt or fear was believing in myself. I don’t think I managed it well, to be honest. I felt so lost and didn’t know where to start. My world was crumbling around me. I desperately wanted to hold onto the dream of a happy, loving family, but the harder I held on, the more the distance in the relationships. Putting myself first felt selfish. I would feel guilty when I did things for myself. One step at a time, I started exploring what I would enjoy in life.
What were some of the challenges or obstacles you faced during your journey to overcome this particular challenge?
The challenges were channeling, understanding, and expressing my emotions. At first, it felt like such a big task — like learning a new language. Finding the words and tone to convey my thoughts, feelings, and message was difficult.
Tell us about a memorable anecdote or turning point in your courageous journey.
The turning point for me was when I understood that I didn’t need to compete with anyone or outspeak (in volume) someone else to be heard. I also understood that others are doing the best they can, as well, in their own journey.
What role models or sources of support helped you stay strong and resilient?
The sources of support came from the women in my tribe. They encouraged me to take the steps, to be the genuine me, to cheer me on, and to be a safe place. I didn’t see it until later in my healing journey, but my family loved me and wanted the best for me. They supported me in the way they knew how.
How did this experience impact your life and your perception of courage?
It’s a never-ending journey, right? Every day, there is a reminder that the journey must continue; this experience has helped awaken my dormant self. I am more grounded in who I am. I am able to set not just boundaries, but healthy boundaries. Courage comes in so many ways, and it can be bigger and greater with support.
What lessons or wisdom have you gained from this experience that you’d like to share with others?
Healing is not a one-time event. Every day, there is something of you to be aware of and learn. It’s important to feel all of our emotions but not let them control our lives. Healing gives us an edge to move forward sooner than if we do not heal.
What unexpected or positive outcomes emerged from your courageous actions?
The unexpected outcome is that I’m becoming a life coach. When I opened up about my feelings and experiences, I was met with understanding and care. Wouldn’t it be nice for all women to feel that way? I knew I want to support women in their journey of healing and life coaching called to me.
How do you define courage, and how has your definition evolved through your own experiences?
Courage is taking the steps to move forward despite fear. I tended to think of a worst-case scenario, and that often had me at a standstill. I say tended because I have worked hard to no longer allow myself to accept being stagnant in moving forward. One little step in courage is as important as one leap in courage.
Is there a particular message or advice you’d like to convey to other women who may be facing similar challenges?
Your journey is your journey. Be inspired by others to heal, yet understand there are many paths to healing. Trust that you will lead yourself to where you are meant to be. When there are roadblocks, you can create your own path.
In retrospect, do you have any regrets or things you would have done differently?
I don’t necessarily have regrets. There are lessons to be learned from each experience. The only thing I may have done differently was to be more open to healing earlier in life. But then again, would not have learned the lessons I learned.
How has this experience shaped your identity or sense of self?
I feel more confident and comfortable in my identity.
What would you say to someone who is hesitant or afraid to take a courageous step in their lives?
It is okay to be hesitant and afraid. I encourage you to start. It won’t be easy at times. Life happens. Picture yourself smiling, loving, brighter, and stronger because you chose you. Be grounded in who you are and be flexible to adapt. You truly are worth it.