1. Describe the moment when you knew you had to tap into your inner courage and make changes in your life.
The moment I knew I needed to tap into my inner courage and make changes in my life was when I had to make the toughest decision I have ever had to make because of an ultimatum. I chose me.
In the darkness of the night, I decided to walk away from my home, everything I had worked hard for, but the hardest thing I did was walk away from the ones I loved not knowing when or if I would see them next. With that decision, I was heartbroken, and depressed and felt more lost than I had in my life. I knew, though, that if I stayed there and the people (including myself) did not change I would be slowly turning what internal light I had left to darkness.
2. Walk us through the pivotal moment when you decided to act courageously. What was going through your mind? How did you feel at that moment?
This part of my life was very tumultuous. It seemed like no matter how hard I tried to change to please my family it just didn't work. The arguments became more frequent and more intense.
3. What inspired or motivated you to take the courageous step you did? What were a few of the first steps you took? What major actions did you have to take?
I don't know if it would be called inspiration or motivation, but there was something deep within me that felt caged in. I now know what it is, it was my genuine self wanting to be seen and heard. She wanted out. At first, she came out with a roar. She had lain dormant for too long and didn't know how to express herself.
That the healing process required me to be vulnerable. It was one of the most uncomfortable feelings I have ever felt. I thought I knew what being vulnerable was all about, but what I knew was just the surface. I was at the start of the journey of going deeper into the darkness that I stored away thinking it would never surface.
Walking towards self-acknowledgment, self-permission and self-validation was what I needed to give myself the love and confidence to say I am ok. Things will be ok.
The major action I had to take was seeking help. The first mindset shift I needed to do was understand that seeking help, whether it was from a therapist, a life coach, or both at the same time and doing the work did not mean I was broken, It simply meant I was getting the support I needed to be able to go through what I needed to.
4. Paint a picture of what your life was like before you encountered the challenge that called for you to summon your courage.
I lived life for others. Molding myself to be accepted, but never felt fulfilled. I was a single mom on a mission to show that I could handle things on my own. I built a thick wall around my heart because I vowed I was never going to get hurt again. I blamed myself for so many things that happened to me and my kids. My hurt and sadness was projected in control and anger. I couldn't let anyone know just how much I hurt. I felt like I wasn't enough to love. I punished myself every day for not being good enough to provide for my kids. I wanted to protect my kids so bad that I felt so guilty when I couldn't. Everything that went wrong I internally punished myself for not knowing better or doing better. I was living life on cruise control.
5. Were there any doubts or fears you had to overcome before taking action? How did you manage them?
The biggest doubt or fear was believing in myself. I don't think I managed it well to be honest. I felt so lost and didn't know where to start.
Putting myself first felt selfish. I would feel guilty when I did things for myself. One step at a time, I started exploring what I would enjoy in life.
6. What were some of the challenges or obstacles you faced during your journey to overcome this particular challenge?
7. Tell us about a memorable anecdote or turning point in your courageous journey.
The turning point for me was when I understood that I didn't need to compete with anyone or outspeak (in volume) someone else to be heard. Also, understanding that others are doing the best they can, as well, in their journey.
8. What role models or sources of support helped you stay strong and resilient?
The sources of support came from my women's tribe. They encouraged me to take the steps, to be the genuine me, to cheer me on, to be a safe place. Also, my family. However, I didn't see it until later in my healing journey, They loved me and wanted the best for me. They supported me in the way they knew how.
9. How did this experience impact your life and your perception of courage?
10. What lessons or wisdom have you gained from this experience that you'd like to share with others?
Healing is not a one-time event. Every day there is something for you to be aware of and learn. It's important to feel all of your emotions but do not let it control your life. Healing gives you an edge to move forward sooner than if you do not take time to heal.
11. What unexpected or positive outcomes emerged from your courageous actions?
The unexpected outcome that has come out of this is my becoming a Life Coach. I discovered I wasn't alone in all this.
12. How do you define courage, and how has your definition evolved through your own experiences?
To me, courage is taking the steps to move forward despite my fear.
13. Is there a particular message or advice you'd like to convey to other women who may be facing similar challenges?
Your journey is your journey. Be inspired by others to heal, yet understand there are many paths to healing. Trust that you will lead yourself to where you need to be. And when there are roadblocks, you can make your own path.
14. In retrospect, do you have any regrets or things you would have done differently?
I don't necessarily have regrets. There are lessons to be learned from each experience. the only thing I may have done differently was to be more open to healing earlier in life. But then again would I have learned the lessons I learned?
15. How has this experience shaped your identity or sense of self?
I feel more confident and comfortable in my identity.
16. What would you say to someone who is hesitant or afraid to take a courageous step in their life?
It is okay to be hesitant and afraid. I encourage you to start. It won't be easy at times. Life happens. You truly are worth it. Picture yourself smiling and loving brighter and stronger because you chose you.
Be grounded in who you are and be flexible to adapt.
Remalynn Muñoz, Accountabilty Support Coach. As a first-generation Filipino American, I navigated between two cultures: one that my parents knew and one that I grew up with. Blending the two had its benefits and challenges. I am a mother of two adult children, most of their lives as a single mom. I am a grandmother of two handsome boys who call me Ina. I love dancing—it's hard to get me off the dance floor. The sound of the ocean brings me peace and being in it grounds me.