1. Describe the moment when you knew you had to tap into your inner courage and make changes in your life.
It was the day I was working with an Image Styling Consultant. We were working on cleaning out my closet, dialing in what my style was, my colors, and more. She had a group of words, and I was to circle the words that I felt related to me. She then asked me to pick three of the words that described me as a Presenter which I did ‘cool, calm and collective’ and then I was to go to my closet and pick out an outfit that reflected those words. The next was to pick three words describing me going out on a date, I chose, playful, outgoing, and sincere.
She then said, “I see you circled feminine as one of your words, how come you didn’t use that word in describing yourself going out on a date? My eyes immediately started to well up and I started to cry. She then asked me, why are you crying? I told her that I spent a lot of years working in corporate America in the 1980s and 1990's and for a woman to be taken seriously, you had to shed a part of your femininity, and that is what I did. Yes, from the outside I did look feminine, I still wore dresses, suits with skirts, high heels, make-up, and did my hair. But my energy was equated to more of an Alpha male, more masculine. I had pushed the feminine side of me so deep down in order to play the corporate game with the men and I realized right then and there that most of my relationships with men were more contractual, more like a business relationship. I was so alpha in my relationships and did not let the soft, vulnerable feminine side out. The tears flowed and I mourned.
After that experience, I had many conversations with other women between 55 and 65 years of age that felt the same or had similar experiences. I was not alone, but how was I going to get that feminine side of me back.
2. Walk us through the pivotal moment when you decided to act courageously. What was going through your mind? How did you feel at that moment?
Shortly after the image consultant experience, I decided to hire a Life Coach and deal with my limiting beliefs that I felt were holding me back from expanding my real estate career into a team-based business so that when I retired, I could have someone run it for me and bring in passive income.
So, I asked my newly hired coach if we could go away for the weekend and deal with my limiting beliefs so I could build this great big team and business. I said, “let’s break me down and build me back up”. I wanted to finally get rid of the limiting beliefs that had haunted me for years and comparing myself to others. Little did I know what that would mean, entail and the journey it would set forth.
So, my coach and I went away for the weekend and started to tackle a program developed just for me. It was structured into eight sections and was a deep, deep dive. In certain stages there were exercises for me to do on my own, but I couldn’t do them without her by my side, prodding me along the way, asking questions to unlock all that was buried deep down in my heart, my soul and my mind. At times it was paralyzing.
Questions ran through my mind, am I good enough? Who am I as a daughter, sister, friend, peer? Why didn’t I think I was worthy? Why all the excuses and false narratives? Who am I? And it circled back to who am I as a feminine woman. Who am I as a strong feminine woman and was there a place for me in this world?
All this breaking down was more about finding my true authentic self.
3. What inspired or motivated you to take the courageous step you did? What were a few of the first steps you took? What major actions did you have to take?
What inspired me is that I no longer wanted to be stuck in the box society puts women in and the box that I had put myself in. I wanted to redefine my life. I was 61 years old and wanted to live the rest of my life on my terms authentic to who I am, but that was the crux of it, who was I? Within 3 months of coaching one thing was very clear to me, I was done with my career in real estate. I no longer wanted to deal with the long hours, working weekends, at the mercy of my clients’ schedules. I no longer wanted to be in the greed of the Seller’s Market and watching buyers struggle to purchase a home. It was no longer fun nor fulfilling and was sucking life right out of me.
In all honesty, I felt that the doors to my business were slowly closing and that maybe there was something else out there for me. I wasn’t getting as many referrals and repeat clients and not picking up new clients at open houses. I was thinking about quitting a career I knew so well, was very good at and was extremely lucrative. For what? That was the question, what was the next step.
The first action I had to take was admit that I no longer wanted this career and that I needed to create a new career for myself. So, my coach and I did a deep dive over the next month, and I decided to get Certified as a Body Language Strategist. It was a course I had taken a couple years prior that fascinated me.
4. Paint a picture of what your life was like before you encountered the challenge that called for you to summon your courage.
I felt like I didn’t have much of a life outside of real estate. Being a realtor is like a 24 hour a day job lately due to the tough Seller’s Market. I was not having fun, I was missing out on so many things, birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, parties, barbecues, etc. Time with family and friends. I was good at what I did, but it wasn’t my passion, and I didn’t want to leave this earth not living out my life passionately in both my personal and professional life.
In the real estate field, there are so many comparisons that go on and it eventually affects you and your self-worth.
There just had to be more and I couldn’t just sit or stand by waiting for it to come to me, I needed, and desired to create something beautiful that was authentic to me, that would feed my heart, soul, and mind.
5. Were there any doubts or fears you had to overcome before taking action? How did you manage them?
What did it look like coaching, specifically as a Body Language Strategist. What kind of income could I expect, who would be my clients, how was I going to succeed in this new field. So, I investigated with my mentor who would certify me in the program and knew I would not make as much money as I did as a Real Estate Broker, but I would be happier, I would have my life back. More time for family, friends and myself.
Also realizing as I neared retirement age, if I wanted to retire out of state still working part-time, it would be hard to do that as a realtor, but as a coach, I could do that anywhere and make good money supplementing my retirement, filling in the financial gaps.
It was during this time that I felt a deep in my heart and soul a calling from God. That I was going to stand on a stage in front of thousands of people teaching and coaching life lessons. My response was “who me?”. I knew exactly where I was sitting, what picture I was looking at on my wall and the overwhelming knowledge I had that this was true.
First, you would need to know that I am 100% an extrovert with a big personality, not a shy bone in my body. However, there was one thing I never really wanted; to be famous or have notoriety. I have watched society build people up and put them on pedestals only to chip away at the pedestal and relish their fall from grace.
I was at church a couple of weeks later, singing and just praying, why? Why me, I don’t want to be famous. Why? The answer in that small knowing voice was because you care about others, you want to help others. And my reply was then keep me humble.
6. What were some of the challenges or obstacles you faced during your journey to overcome this particular challenge?
One of the challenges was leaving a lucrative career, but one that I felt was drying up. I didn’t want to be lukewarm, I wanted to be all in. I remember gathering all of my real estate stuff; flyer stands, signage, key boxes, etc and selling them to my friends, getting rid of all past client files. Basically, everything real estate related I wiped clean from my home. I wanted to be ALL in, not part way, not holding on to something from my past as a crutch. I didn’t want to live in a someday mentality. It was all or nothing and that was frightening.
I spent the next year getting certified as a Body Language Strategist, Video Marketing Strategist and Real Estate Clock Hour Instructor. The second year was all about learning what it was like to be an entrepreneur in the coaching field, which was so much different then being an entrepreneur in real estate. I had a huge learning curve in front of me, branding, marketing, technology, etc. And then what did I decide to do, and another certification as a Life Coach!!
The question was, getting all of these certifications, were they the distraction from starting and implementing a new business that I felt I was not experienced enough in to be successful? Aha, limiting beliefs arise again.
7. Tell us about a memorable anecdote or turning point in your courageous journey.
I have gone through three years of coaching with my coach. We have dived deep; we broke me down and built me back up. There were times I felt loss, times I had to mourn, a lot of aha moments, breakthroughs, resistance and so much more. Times I couldn’t even get out of bed, times I was so high with possibilities. I cried, I laughed, I worried, I learned, and I grew, and I found out who I was authentically. I found my light and was shining it brightly and with no apologies.
And the day that someone said to me I want what you have, I knew that all that hard work had finally paid off. This new redefined Trish was magnetizing.
8. What role models or sources of support helped you stay strong and resilient?
I was lucky that I joined a networking group recommended by a friend and joined FAVE. Here I met so many women with their own personal journeys, who were resilient, strong, vulnerable, kind, caring, supportive and encouraging. A few showed me the ways in areas of branding and marketing, how to do a deeper dive of forgiveness, taught me about the Ocean and the impact plastic is making on our planet and how to dress for who I am and to please myself.
From my coach and my accredited coaching program, I learned how to set healthy boundaries with others and especially for myself. I deep dived into my relationships, where they healthy, did they had value, were they training. I learned that I don’t need to chase others or business, that I could magnetize both to me by being authentic. That I could stand in my light and in my truth by knowing my core values and my wants. I was vibrating at a higher level.
I did the work, it was my Authentic Self Revolution, my Powershift into my Greatness.
And now it was time to take the next step and launch my new business.
9. How did this experience impact your life and your perception of courage?
I have this conversation with so many women because we are finally getting to the truth, that it is in our vulnerability that we are the strongest. It is working through your fear and though you are scared that you still show up. It is looking in the mirror and truly knowing who you are and being proud of that person. That if I show up as my authentic self, life will be easier. I am no longer throwing spaghetti against the wall to see what will stick. When you know who you are, you attract like-minded people or people who want what you have. Life becomes easier! .
I learned how to create a safe place for others to abide in, a safe place for me to abide in. By showing up and being consistent because it is in this safe place, where we get the YES!
10. What lessons or wisdom have you gained from this experience that you'd like to share with others?
To thine self be true! That deep knowing of who you are as a woman is critical to growth, to contentment, to joy and happiness. You can look at me and be around me and you know what my Core Values are because they shine through.
That all relationships vibrate differently, that one vibration is not better than another, just different. Find your tribe that vibrates closer to you, that will challenge you to keep growing. Know your superpower words, your abilities and capabilities along with your Core Values so that when others try to define you or put you in a box, you can stand firmly in your boundaries because you are clear on who you are as a Women.
Do the work, have a personal mission statement, write an essay of who you are as a woman. Know yourself!
11. What unexpected or positive outcomes emerged from your courageous actions?
At the beginning of this journey, I had a beautiful 3000 square foot home that I lived in all by myself. I sold it in 2021 and moved into a new community in a 1750 square foot home. I didn’t care much for the floor plan, but I made it home and I loved the community. This was the safe place where I did the work with my coach. There were days I couldn’t even get out of bed, the work was hard, but so rewarding.
But money was getting tight, and I no longer wanted to pay the exorbitant rent and I for some reason was feeling really possession heavy. Maybe because the hard work was done, and I no longer needed this safe place. I researched getting a roommate or finding a new place. If I got a roommate, I would want it to be someone that needed help by renting a room in a safe home. I came close three times, but it did not come to fruition. Rents were high out there and I wouldn’t be saving much money moving into a studio or one bedroom apartment.
Then I found out that a friend from church was renting out her studio basement about 700 square feet. I went to look at it and fell in love with it! I moved in 3 weeks later. The kicker was, is she needed to rent the space in order to keep her home. So in the end, I was helping someone, it just didn’t look like I had wanted, I am glad that I was open to how it was suppose to be.
One might think that I have gone backwards from 3000 square feet to 700 square feet from a huge 4-bedroom home to a studio. But I am right where I am supposed to be. I am content! I feel like this is my Ernest Hemmingway abode, where I get to write my workshops, research, read, learn, pray more, and lean into God more. And now that I have done the work on my heart, mind and spirit, it is a place where I can nourish my body and add movement to my life.
I am in my mother’s womb soaking up all the nutrients from mother waiting for my rebirth.
12. How do you define courage, and how has your definition evolved through your own experiences?
Our veterans who go to war for us are courageous, going into the unknown most of the time because they made the commitment that they would show up. They followed through on their commitment and their promise. More often, the majority did it afraid, they knew it was required of them.
For me it is very similar but let’s be honest, my life was not at risk. However, I still had to go into the deep dark hole and build a way-out brick by brick. It was a deep dark hole of my own making and the only one that could get me out was me. Oh, I could have stayed there and let life live me, but I wanted to live life. So, I showed up afraid, nervous, scared and sometimes lost and did the hard work because of the commitment I made to myself. I faced those limiting beliefs, I faced who I was so that I would no longer compare myself to others. I looked at the old narrative and I wrote a new one.
Courage to me is simple, it is showing up!
13. Is there a particular message or advice you'd like to convey to other women who may be facing similar challenges?
You can choose just to go through the motions and as I said above let life live you, or you can redefine that life and it starts with the hard work of finding out who you are and in finding that out, you can find your true purpose, your true calling. Will you show up?
14. In retrospect, do you have any regrets or things you would have done differently?
No regrets. Yes, I do wish I did something differently, but then I think I would miss the life lesson. There is a reason for all of our seasons, you just need to ask what it is I am supposed to learn from this season. In going through all of these seasons and being open to what life was teaching me, I have been able to help others, to pay it forward. If I didn’t go through those seasons, I would not have been able to relate and help so many women.
15. How has this experience shaped your identity or sense of self?
I am feminine, vulnerable, strong, courageous, kind-hearted, faithful and so much more, I am women here me roar!
16. What would you say to someone who is hesitant or afraid to take a courageous step in their life.
We only get one life to live. You can choose to live it meeting others’ expectations of you, a life defined by others, or you can choose to create a life worth living on your terms. When you look back, which would you be most proud of?
Trish’s career is defined by success, beginning with her role in assisting Fortune 500 executives to optimize procedures and implement organizational systems. She also boasts 30 years in the real estate industry, excelling as a new construction specialist and top 5% resale broker she brings a wealth of knowledge to her clients. As a Body Language Strategist and Life Coach with a focus on Empowerment and Confidence Building, Trish helps individuals connect and thrive in their personal and professional lives through tailored 1:1 coaching and workshops.